Rigging Life: How We Misunderstand Success and Equity

From Side Quests to Main Missions, How to Rig the Game of Life in Your Favor

Imagine standing at the edge of a dense forest, clutching a faded map that promises success if you just follow its rigid, worn paths. Everyone, your parents, your teachers, society, tells you this is the way: a straight ladder to climb, each rung a milestone, each step a guarantee. But what if that map is a lie? What if success isn’t a single, orderly track but a wild, sprawling adventure you’re meant to shape yourself?

We’ve been sold a flawed story about success. It’s time to rewrite it.

The Flawed Narrative of Success

From the moment we’re old enough to dream, we’re handed a blueprint: go to school, get good grades, land a steady job, climb the corporate ladder, and, voila, success. It’s a linear path, a cookie cutter formula that punishes deviation. Stray too far, and you’re a failure. Make a mistake, and you’ve ruined your shot. This mindset turns life into a game with high stakes, where fear of screwing up, of falling behind, keeps us tethered to someone else’s plan.

But here’s the problem: that rigid ladder doesn’t account for who you are. It ignores your quirks, your passions, your unique strengths. It assumes life is predictable, when in reality, it’s anything but. Clinging to this narrative doesn’t just limit our potential. It robs us of the chance to explore, to grow, to become something more.

Life as a Series of Side Quests

What if we stopped seeing life as a straight line and started treating it like a video game skill tree? Picture it: instead of chasing a single “correct” path, you’re navigating a web of possibilities. Some branches lead to dead ends, others unlock hidden abilities. The catch? You don’t get the good stuff, like resilience, wisdom, and confidence, without diving into the side quests that beckon along the way.

These side quests are your chance to test the waters, to plunge into something new and see how it feels. Think of picking up a guitar for the first time, strumming a few chords, and realizing you can’t put it down, or signing up for a cooking class and discovering that crafting a meal sparks more joy than your day job ever did.

They’re low stakes experiments: a weekend hike that turns into a love for the outdoors, a blog you start on a whim that reveals a knack for storytelling. The point isn’t just to overcome obstacles; it’s to explore what clicks. And sometimes, you stumble into something so captivating that it takes over. Your casual dabble in graphic design becomes a portfolio, then a career, and suddenly, it’s your new main quest line.

Side quests let you try on different versions of yourself until you find the one that fits.

Leveraging Support Strategically

Here’s where it gets tricky. We all have people, like family, friends, and mentors, ready to help us along. Their support is invaluable, but it comes with a risk: if you let them dictate your path, you’ll end up living their version of your life. I’ve seen it happen: someone takes advice too literally, follows a career they hate, and wakes up a decade later wondering where their dreams went.

The key is to use that support as leverage, not a lifeline. Lean on the people who believe in you, but only to fuel your vision. Ask for a hand up, not a handout. Many learn this lesson the hard way: relying too heavily on others can keep them stuck, but using encouragement as a springboard can set them free. Your loved ones aren’t there to write your story. They’re there to help you tell it.

Building Real Equity

And what about equity? We often think of it as what we’re given, such as family connections, inherited advantages, or a lucky break. But real equity isn’t static; it’s dynamic. It’s taking what you’ve got and turning it into something bigger, something that benefits you and those around you. It’s not about hogging the spotlight or coasting on privilege. It’s about reciprocity.

Think of it like planting a seed. Your network gives you the soil, but you’ve got to nurture it, grow it, and eventually share the harvest. That’s how you build a life that’s not just successful by someone else’s standards, but meaningful on your terms. You’re not locked into a single role or barred from a future because you didn’t follow the “right” script. You rig the game by rewriting the rules.

Forge Your Own Path

So here’s the truth: life isn’t a ladder, and it’s not a race. It’s a sprawling, unpredictable journey that you get to define. Stop chasing a perfect score or a destination that’s been mapped out for you. Embrace the side quests, the stumbles, the moments that feel like dead ends but turn out to be breakthroughs. Use the support around you not as a crutch, but as a catapult.

The next step might be scary. It might be uncertain. But at least it’s yours.

It's time to rig the game your way, and watch how much richer life becomes when you do.